You've Changed... You Say That Like It's a Bad Thing

I saw this great quote today by Hunter S. Thompson, "Every man is the sum total of his reactions to experience. As your experiences differ and multiply, you become a different man, and hence your perspective changes. This goes on and on. Every reaction is a learning process; every significant experience alters your perspective." 

And it made me think about decisions I made when I was in my 20's and how silly I think they are now. But I embrace them all. I don't judge myself because I realize that every decision I've made led to a greater breath of experience in my life. And I'm of the opinion that the more experience you have the better choices you make in life. 

I can't even count how many times I have been told by "friends" that I have changed - which they meant negatively and I would feel so bad and guilty because I wasn't the same person they expected me to be. And then I discovered Brene Brown and I realized I am the only one allowed to make decisions for my life and no one gets to judge me for that (Brene Browners you know what I'm talking about). 

"To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.  – Henri Bergson.

I AM the sum total of my experiences and with that, I hope to continue to change throughout my life. So now when people say, "you've changed" I just say, "thank you."

Listening is Such a Simple Act

courtesy of www.taminprogress.com

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and all you can think about is how you want to respond to something they just said? We all do it, some of us more than others. 

Stephen Covey’s quote hits the nail on the head, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply." 

We spend so much time thinking about our responses, that we forget to be present and just listen.

I Know the Answer… What’s the Question?

My family is a group of loud, boisterous and animated talkers. 

One Christmas Eve we were spending time with some family friends and honestly, I don’t really remember what the discussion was, but in no time it was at fever pitch and with every sip of wine, things got louder and louder; wine is a great conductor for loud conversations. 

We were all talking so loud, and all over one another that nothing could be heard. 

So at the peak of the conversation, where it couldn't get any louder, someone yelled out “I know the answer… wait, what’s the question?” At that moment we all started laughing and realized we weren't listening to one another at all.  

Communication is More Than What You Want to Say

Really great communication occurs when people are talking and listening to each other. The challenge with most communication today is more often than not, it is just one way-- a lot of talking and very little listening. In so many of the conversations I see people spend their time trying to prove their position and less time engaged in what others are saying. 

It’s like we are so focused on swaying people toward our point-of-view.

Communication is speaking, but more importantly it’s listening. The best communicators in the world say very little and listen a lot. 

The way we create better work environments, communities and overall relationships is by abandoning the idea that we have to convince the world that we are right. If we fully engage and really listen we give ourselves a greater opportunity to be enlightened, to be educated, and gain better perspective.

How to Be a Better Listener

Listening, not just hearing, takes work. Here are a few tips on how you can improve your listening skills.

1. Make Eye Contact – show the speaker that you are paying attention and interested in what they are saying
2. Stop Formulating Your Rebuttal—if you are spending your time thinking about your response, then you aren't listening
3. Paraphrase– when you paraphrase or ask questions, it tells the speaker that you are engaged. Be sure to wait for natural pauses before asking your question or clarifying what’s been said
4. Don’t Interrupt – if you are talking, then you aren't listening

“Listening is such a simple act. It requires us to be present, and that takes practice, but we don't have to do anything else. We don't have to advise, or coach, or sound wise. We just have to be willing to sit there and listen.” - Margaret J. Wheatley

The Art of Presence

(Originally Posted on www.thepositivitysolution.com)
It all started off innocently enough.

I was feeling a little tight and sore after a hard workout, and I decided to get a massage.

Who knew that the workout was going to be the easy part of my day, and that the real challenge was going to be waiting for me inside the spa?

My good friend, who is well versed in so many things around Los Angeles, says, “I know this great spa, let’s meet in Korea town.”

Prior to all my “living in the present” work (which was helped enormously by reading Shola’s article on the topic), I would have asked 100 questions about the spa we were going to, what is their Yelp rating, what is their health department rating, etc., but my work has helped me live in each day and every moment.

Little did I know that I was about to put my work to the test.

What Do You Mean We Are All Naked?

All day I had been anticipating my massage. I could feel all the anxiety leaving my body just by thinking about having a professional masseuse rub all of my tensions away.

And then that all changed once I arrived at the Korean Spa.

For those of you who are unaware of the Korean Spa phenomenon, I would like to provide a short peek into this time honored tradition. Korean spas offer full service day spa experiences that are inexpensive, but very effective.

Traditionally the spa areas are gender specific, and on the women’s side, all the providers work in their underwear.

Additionally, there is a strict no swimsuit policy. Which means, yes, the spa is 100% nude!

This is a little fact my dear friend left out when scheduling us for massages.

Now the insecure, “body conscious” me wanted to spin on my heel and high tail it out the front door. But the new (and improved) Brené Brown renovated me, kept calm and remembered that I need to be present in each moment.

Even the uncomfortable ones.

The Challenge of Presence

I think being present is more challenging now than ever before.

We are constantly inundated with all kinds of information—from text messages and emails to information crawls on the news and apps that allow us to interact with our shows on television. We get very few opportunities to just be in a single moment, being completely present without distraction.

I read a great article about Mindfulness in the Harvard Business Review and in it the author discusses how being actively present or mindful, will make us more charismatic, perform better and manage life’s chaos.

We are so wired to multitask these days that, at least for me, this “being present” stuff seemed counter-intuitive. How could I be more productive if I’m only focused on one thing at a time?

I’m sure you all have been here–if not, this is what it looks like for me: I’m on the phone with my mother, answering emails for work, and sending a text to friends.

Can you guess what ends up happening?

I miss what my mother was sharing, I forget to add an important bit of information in the email, and I respond to the wrong text.

The reality is I can’t do more than one thing. If you think about it, I mean really think about it, you can really only be focused on a single thing at a time. But because we are trying to do so much, we actually exhaust ourselves mentally and miss out on really great moments.

Here are some tips to keep you from missing any more of those moments.

Four Tips to Help You Stay Present

1. Practice Awareness

Make note of the situations where you disengage. Is it when you are in mindless activities? Is it when you argue with your partner? Is it when your kids are driving you crazy? Whatever it might be, take stock of those moments so you become aware and can snap yourself out of it and re-engage.

2. Take a Deep Breath

The chaos of life can be overwhelming. But when we break through the noise and get a moment of peace, we restart our minds. A great way to get a quick restart is by taking a break, closing our eyes and taking a deep breath. If you have more time, I would recommend practicing meditation. Meditation is the ultimate expression of clearing your mind of everything that isn’t now.

3. Embrace It All

Every moment, even the “bad” ones deserve your attention. When we consistently disengage from the bad stuff, not only is that not positive at all, it makes it even harder to be present with the good stuff. Every situation has its purpose for your life, find the meaning and embrace it.

4. Let it Go

Let it go? But wait, didn’t I just say to embrace it all? Yes, you embrace it, learn the lesson and let the rest of it go. When we hang on to things we are living in the past. Remember the goal is to live in the moment.

Yes, We Were All Naked

I had the most amazing experience at this spa.

Yes, we were all naked and it was one of the most freeing experiences I have ever had. I wasn’t spending my time thinking about what my body looked like or what the other ladies were thinking about my body.

I spent my time clearing my mind and just being.

To me, that is the art of presence.

- See more at: http://thepositivitysolution.com/art-presence/#more-3841

The Challenge of Change

Courtesy of www.fresheggs.com

I find it interesting that so many of us battle with the concept of change when each and every one of us are changing daily. My mother, who is a very young 67, is one of the most amazing women I have been lucky enough to know. She immigrated to the US when she was barely 19, alone and with very little money or understanding of American culture. Over her life she has independently raised children, had multiple careers and has taken in her fair share of the needy, but through it all she continues to thrive. She may be my best example of how embracing change is the way to go.

It’s All About Attitude

Over the past few years my mother's eyesight has been deteriorating. This has been going on for the past 3-4 years, but it had gotten very bad in the last few months. Though very difficult at first, she accepted the changes happening with her body and kept moving forward with her life; when most of her peers are retiring, she is starting a new business!

Recently she saw her doctor only to find out she had a cataract on her eye. The doctor performed surgery and within 24 hours she was seeing better than she had in 30 years. Change is all around us- at times it is good and other times it is challenging, but it always is happening. The change my mother experienced is probably one of the most frightening things that can happen to a person.  My mother’s story shows both the good and bad sides of change, the only thing that remained constant was her attitude about it. When her body started to change in a way she didn't like and could not control she could have crawled into a corner, but she embraced the changes and continued to move forward.

Is Fear Your Guide?

As a customer service and service excellence trainer, a significant portion of my time is spent working with people to change their behaviors. Obviously no small feat- in many cases their current behaviors are preventing them from experiencing better work relationships, better relationships with their customers/patients and a happier overall life. But fear holds them back—the saying I hear a lot is “stick with the devil you know.” I reject that! Why stick with the devil at all?

When we embrace the idea of continuous improvement and change, we really open so many opportunities for ourselves. I tell people all the time, it’s about the experience. The outcome may not be what you intended, but you grow from the experience. Every experience makes us a little wiser, stronger and brings us closer to the things we want (or at least the knowledge of what we don’t want). We give ourselves a chance to learn new things, develop new skills, and grow into our best possible self.  I know that might not be a conscious goal for everyone, but if we took a moment and really thought about it, isn't that what we really want, to be our best self? It’s why we exercise, try to eat right, go to college, read books, and learn new skills. Deep down I think we all want to be the best versions of ourselves.

We Must Hatch or Go Bad

I love this quote from C.S. Lewis “It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.”

No one says change is easy, but it's happening every day. Imagine what we would accomplish with a little effort. We must hatch or we go bad; it’s the nature of the world, if we aren't evolving we are dying. Embrace the idea of change, it is the only way we will get closer to being our best self.

RESPECT – Find Out What It Means To Me

Courtesy of billcorbett.blogspot.com

I have had a challenging past few days, to say the least, and the challenge has translated to feeling a lack of general respect. I was in the shower and thinking to myself that as our culture has become less courteous it seems like there has been a loss of general respect—respect for differences, respect for property, and respect for individuals. 

What is respect?

Miriam Webster online defines respect as:

re·spect noun \ri-ˈspekt\

: a feeling of admiring someone or something that is good, valuable, important, etc.

: a feeling or understanding that someone or something is important, serious, etc., and should be treated in an appropriate way. The second part of the second definition is what I think is missing today – “should be treated in an appropriate way.” Since Sunday I have experienced, in one way or another, a total disregard for being treated in an appropriate way.

Open the Door B*tches

I woke up Sunday morning, it was about 73 degrees in Southern California. I decided to go paddle boarding. It was amazing! The sky was blue, the bay was filled with people basking in the gorgeous sun. It was perfect. I was inspired, so I invited a few friends over to grill up some food. We were all laughing, discussing how great the weather was for March and the next thing we hear is “Open the door b*tches!” Surprised at the thought someone would be yelling something like that in a neighbor with young children was a little unsettling. I looked outside to find four young women yelling to the neighbors upstairs. So I said, “There is an intercom” to which they responded, “we know.” These young women didn't even seem cognizant that other people lived in the building, let alone the fact that young children live there. Look, curse words leaves my mouth more regularly than I know is appropriate, but I respect the fact that not all people feel the same. I don’t see it as an infringement on my freedom of speech, I see it as me respecting my neighbor’s point of view. I see it as being respectful.

What is Lost Can Be Found

Though I am discouraged by the disrespect I've seen and experienced in recent years, I am not swayed! I know that within each of us there is kindness and goodness. I know that within each of us there is an unwavering desire to care. Why do I believe this so strongly? Because I see it every day. I see it in the young men who hold the door open so a lady can walk through. I see it when a group of women get up from their seats in the waiting area so an elderly couple can sit down. I see it when a team of people stop their cars, get out and work together to corral the dog running aimlessly through the streets.

While respect, kindness and courtesy may be hidden at times, it lives deep in the heart of each and every one of us. We just have to remember it. We just have to remember how good it feels to do good things. What does respect mean to me? It means I treat you the way I hope to be treated – with just a little bit of courtesy and RESPECT.

Is Technology Killing Kindness?

Courtesy of yogaheels.wordpress.com

In the 90’s I remember how cool it was when I could write “BOOB” with my pager. At the time I could never have imagined how mobile technology would evolve. The fact that most of us carry around a device that can send and receive complex information at the click of button, would make it seem we would be more in touch, more connected with one another.

But I think the opposite might be true. As an observer of people, I notice people on their phones while in line at the grocery store – failing to ever look up at the cashier, or in restaurants sitting across from one another immersed in whatever information is popping up on their phones and disconnected from the person physically in front of them.

A few years ago, I walked into an Ace Hardware to get some hardware for a mirror I needed to hang. I was new to the area. I had been looking for ACE Hardware for over an hour. It was August, apparently one of the hottest on recorded for the Valley. I had been moving all day, I was exhausted. I was angry because I had to pay for parking (something I’m still getting use to) and I was planning to just run in and out – I needed to get back to the A/C as quickly as possible. But as I've mentioned before, the universe always has its own plan and we do much better when we lean in and accept it.

The store is pretty small, but having never been in an ACE Hardware I was struggling to find what I was looking for. I found an employee, who was red-nosed and puffy-faced; I could clearly see she had been crying and wasn't having a great day. I smiled empathetically and asked her where I could find mirror hardware and she directed me to the aisle.  While in the aisle I could hear her on the phone arguing with someone. I lingered in the aisle for a few moments, but the arguing and crying wasn't ending, so I went to pay. She was now on the phone and the water works were in full effect. I felt for her, so I stood back trying to give her a few moments to collect herself. The person on the other end of the phone could have cared less that she was at work because she kept saying “I have to go” and that did little to detour the person on the phone from continuing to berate her. Her tears got more intense, but she finally hung up the phone. We completed the transaction and I could tell that she was mustering up every bit of strength to keep it together. Once the transaction was complete I look at her and said “may I give you a hug” and just opened my arms. She hugged me tight and I told her “tomorrow will be better than today.”

I don’t think I would have even noticed (or cared) if I had been on my phone texting friends, playing candy crush (which I do not play, but keep getting invited to) or taking a selfie. I would have missed an opportunity to engage. I would have missed an opportunity to make someone feel better. I would have missed an opportunity to make a difference. Every day each and every one of us has a chance to make an impact, we just have to be present so we don’t miss it. Technology really helps keep people connected – but remember that it can never replace the live connection between people.

We Are All Connected

Courtesy of www.theurlyouwishyouhad.com

When does community consequence trump individual freedoms? Last month I read that Octomom (remember her) was being charged with welfare fraud and I about past out. This is one of the first things I thought about when I read that a single mother, with limited income, decided to have eight babies-- at one time! While Octomom is certainly the catalyst for this story, it really is more about what I consider to be one of (if not the) greatest cultural challenge -- the feeling of entitlement! In essence, believing that we should actually have whatever we want, whenever we want it.

For those of us who grew up anytime after 1980, we were all taught (and I think strongly believe) that we SHOULD get what we want; after all that is OUR FUNDAMENTAL RIGHT as Americans! It sometimes feels like we have taken the idea of "individual freedom" and transformed it into "the right to be completely selfish" - which from my perspective is not exactly in the spirit of "individual freedom." Yes, I believe we should all have the opportunity to make our lives the best they can be, but where is the line between what makes me happy and what makes lives of the people around me miserable?

Octomom decided she wanted to have a brood of children, but her decision didn't just impact her or those 14 little children. Her decision now impacts me and the other hardworking, taxpaying citizens of California. Please understand I am a person that believes the state should be there to help those that have fallen on hard times and I have no problem with tax dollars going to support them because I strongly believe we are all connected. My issue is that Octomom made a conscious choice. She paid actual dollars, and a lot of them, to have children she couldn't afford. Her bad decisions, her belief that she had a right to express her "individual freedom" is now having a negative impact on her community.

I work from home. It is much more convenient for me to do my laundry or run my dishwasher during the day. Or in the summer, when the Valley is 100 degrees, I definitely want to drop my thermostat to 65 degrees. But I take a moment and think about the impact those decisions have. If everyone decided to drop their thermostats to 65 and run their A/C all day long, that is going to have a significant strain on the power grid. It would be easy for me to say, "not my problem" or "well I'm really hot" and do what I want. But the reality is the impact is far reaching, like rolling black outs! No matter how individual my choices they may have a consequence on my community as a whole and that matters because we are all connected.

Individual freedom is extremely important. We can see that now more than ever when we read about places like Venezuela, Ukraine, Sudan and Syria; the people in these countries are really fighting and dying for the "individual freedoms," we in America can sometimes take for granted. Our freedom to speak out against government, our freedom to own businesses and property, our freedom to pursue (or not) the religion of our choosing. These are the intrinsic "individual freedoms" we need to ardently protect. But I do think there has been a shift in how we in American define "individual freedom" and it is disconnecting us from our communities. At some point we have to embrace the idea that we are not only individuals, we are individuals who exist in a community - an extremely diverse community. We have to all begin to think about the decisions we make each day and at least, for a single moment, consider how it might effect someone else.

Why a Smile Will Change Your Day

This post is about the physical and social impacts of a single smile.

The Smile Defined

I decided to just type “smiling” into Google and the first definition I saw was from? Yep you guessed it, Wikipedia. Wikipedia defines smiling as a facial expression formed by flexing the muscles near both ends of the mouth and by flexing muscles throughout the mouth. So I tried it, but instead of turning my facial muscles around my mouth up, I formed them down. That created something very different. So my search continued. The definition from www.thefreedictionary.com would be closer to how I define smile, “A facial expression characterized by an upward curving of the corners of the mouth and indicating pleasure, amusement, or derision.” I like this definition because it shows that not all smiles are created equal. We can smile for pleasure and amusement, but we can also use smiles to mock or scorn. Today we are going to focus on using our smiles for good.

Physical Impacts of a Smile

Smiling is one of the most universal human expressions. No matter your culture, age, or sex, smiling is a consistent facial expression -- most often demonstrated among children. Smiling makes you feel better. After years of evolution, our complicated bodies have adapted very easy ways to make itself feel better. Research has shown the simple motion of turning the corners up on our mouths, triggers a release of endorphins and serotonin, which makes us feel good. Studies have also shown that smiling can reduce stress, improve your blood pressure and boost your immune system. Smiling makes you appear younger and can reduce aggression. People who smile more often, tend to live longer. Next time you are feeling a little blue, take a second and smile, see how you feel. Believe it or not, that small motion can help change your mood.

Social Impacts of a Smile

As humans we all want to feel connected. We are most happy when we are part of a group; that can be family, community, sports team affiliations, religious groups, etc. We are happiest when we are a part of something and smiles can help make that happen. Smiles help connect us. Smiles invite people in. Smiles create comfort and put anxieties at ease. A single smile can change the mood in a group, and change an entire experience.  A smile can take you from sitting in the corner alone, to a trusted friend and confidant. One study suggests that people trust others who offer a genuine smile. Sharing your smile will create more opportunities for you to connect and for others to connect with you.

But What if They Don’t Smile Back

I can’t tell you how many times this response comes up in training. You have to understand that I am the person who will basically interrupt someone’s intense phone reading (you know reading email, texts, whatever) to say “good morning/good afternoon.” My standard response to that question is “so!” I really don't care if people don't smile back. Why would I ever let someone response dictate my positive actions? Unfortunately our culture has moved away from manners and common courtesies. But, I believe we can go back, I mean who would have thought 80's fashion would be back! I believe that it only takes a few of us to start the kindness cultural revolution. A few years back, I decided I was going to actively pursue a connection with everyone who crossed my path. In some cases it would be a verbal, personal connection, but for most it would be two small acts, making eye contact and smiling. Mostly people smile back. Other times, I think people are caught off guard and don't know what to do. So I say, have courage, be brave… smile first.

Smiling Daily Will Change Your Life

As a self-proclaimed ambassador of kindness and courtesy, I have committed to being kind and smiling, even when I'm not having the best day. Anyone who lives in LA can attest to the frustrations of traffic-- the 405 tests my kindness and courtesy regularly.  On the (rare) days where I am scowling in the car and in a perpetual state of pissed-offedness (my own word), I get a headache, nothing on the radio sounds good and just feel all around terrible. When I can just let it go smile and embrace the moment, I feel completely relaxed and seem to travel and arrive at my destination in a better disposition. 

The positive impact you get from smiling outweighs any potential downside. Smiles are contagious. Smiles are free. Offering up smiles daily will not only benefit your health and mental well-being, but will improve the lives of the people you encounter. I try to smile at everyone because I never know when that small act will be the one thing that takes a person from a negative state to a positive one. In the words of the fabulous Mr. Nat King Cole “Smile though your heart is aching, smile even though it's breaking, when there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by, if you smile through your fear and sorrow, smile and maybe tomorrow, you'll see the sun come shining through for you.” Try it! 

The Story of Matthew

Living in Los Angeles is always an experience; it can be very community and at the same time very disconnected. On the same street that you see a brand new Bentley stopped at a light, you also see a homeless man pushing his cart across the street. When you are as empathetic as I am, developing a protective coating—forcing you to ignore the homeless person on the bench and the guy selling oranges off the freeway—is the only way to make it through day-to-day. More often than not, when you are shielded, you forget that everyone has a unique story. This is the story of Matthew.

Disengaged

The great part of consuming alcohol, it tends to thin out that protective coating I create to survive. One night, in the beautiful city of Santa Monica, a few friends and I got together to enjoy festivities at a local restaurant. It had gotten a little hot inside, so a few of us stepped outside for some fresh air. As I stepped outside I saw a tall, handsome man – somewhat disheveled – walking towards us. The closer he got, the more I noticed it seemed that he may have been in the elements for a few days, but only appeared “kind of” homeless. Now anyone who knows me, knows that this is the moment I turn the other direction to avoid any kind of contact, but not that day. That day, the universe had other plans and I felt compelled to say hello; and so I did. The young man seemed excited to engage in conversation and so we chit chatted about this and that for maybe 15 minutes, until my friends were either annoyed or cold and forced me back inside.

The Next Day

The next day I was primed for a delicious breakfast, bloody marys and some great people watching along Ocean Ave. We arrived at the restaurant and to be honest, it was such a terrible experience all I wanted to do was eat and go home. My friend Hayley had a different idea, she was adamant that we grab one drink from the English pub around the corner and then agreed we would head home. So off to the pub we went. We spent a little time, I shared the story of the “kind of” homeless man I met the night before and as I looked up, who do I see sitting at the end of the bar? The “kind of” homeless man from the night before. After some prodding from Hayley, I headed over and said, “What are the chances?” and he responded “Zero.”

Meet Matthew

I invited Matthew over to sit with us. I see he is wearing the same clothes as the night before, so I ask him if he’s eaten to which he responds “no.” So we buy him some food, a few drinks, thinking that we’ll chat for a few minutes and then leave him to enjoy some food and drinks without the restaurant forcing him out. As we wait for the food Matthew begins sharing stories, who is parents are, about a recent breakup, what he has been doing the past few days and some of his misadventures. It is then that I realized Matthew wasn't a drug-abusing homeless guy. He wasn't the homeless guy that doesn't want to work. He wasn't even the homeless guy down on his luck. Matthew is a highly educated guy. Matthew is a guy that comes from a great family. Matthew is a guy who loves deeply. Matthew is a guy that grew up in affluent area of Los Angeles. Matthew is a guy who is special… and Matthew is a guy who suffers from mental illness.

The Universe Has Its Own Plan

As I begin to see Matthew for all the things he really is and understand that he is a guy that needs some help, I immediately go into healthcare provider mode and start asking questions about his medication, why he isn't on them and discussing how and where he can go to get access to treatment. We sit with Matthew another 30 minutes. I excuse myself to the restroom, he goes outside for a smoke. We both arrive back at the table at the same time. I let him know we are heading out and he asks if we can spend just a few more minutes with him, and of course we agree. Matthew has yet to touch the food or drinks we've bought him - which tells me he is more interested in the conversation and human connection. In the next instance the strangest thing happens, he asks if I would like to meet his mother. You can imagine what is going through my head at this point, “this guy is bat sh*t crazy.” So of course I say yes and we proceed outside where I find this petite, brown-haired, blue-eyed beauty. She is refined, she is gorgeous and she is sad. I look her in the eye and say “are you his mother?” To which she replies with a simple up and down nod of her head, while a tear falls down her face.

Whenever, Be Kind

There was no way I could leave this sweet woman without offering up any small act of kindness I could provide. I told her that both Hayley and I were there to help and we would come up with a plan to get Matthew home. Mom was crying, I was crying, and through the tears we came up with a plan. The last step was to get Matthew to agree to the plan -- and that night, Matthew went home.

Kindness is one of those things that is available in ample supply. We just have to remember to access it. When we spend more time living in our own world, disconnected from all that is happening around us, we lose opportunities to enrich ourselves, positively impact our own lives, and make a difference in our community. We are all connected, which is why we must always stay connected. I read a post from Cory Booker once that said, “When happy, be kind. When angry, be kind. When hopeful, be kind. When discouraged, be kind. Whenever, be kind." Today, just be kind.