Is Technology Killing Kindness?

Courtesy of yogaheels.wordpress.com

In the 90’s I remember how cool it was when I could write “BOOB” with my pager. At the time I could never have imagined how mobile technology would evolve. The fact that most of us carry around a device that can send and receive complex information at the click of button, would make it seem we would be more in touch, more connected with one another.

But I think the opposite might be true. As an observer of people, I notice people on their phones while in line at the grocery store – failing to ever look up at the cashier, or in restaurants sitting across from one another immersed in whatever information is popping up on their phones and disconnected from the person physically in front of them.

A few years ago, I walked into an Ace Hardware to get some hardware for a mirror I needed to hang. I was new to the area. I had been looking for ACE Hardware for over an hour. It was August, apparently one of the hottest on recorded for the Valley. I had been moving all day, I was exhausted. I was angry because I had to pay for parking (something I’m still getting use to) and I was planning to just run in and out – I needed to get back to the A/C as quickly as possible. But as I've mentioned before, the universe always has its own plan and we do much better when we lean in and accept it.

The store is pretty small, but having never been in an ACE Hardware I was struggling to find what I was looking for. I found an employee, who was red-nosed and puffy-faced; I could clearly see she had been crying and wasn't having a great day. I smiled empathetically and asked her where I could find mirror hardware and she directed me to the aisle.  While in the aisle I could hear her on the phone arguing with someone. I lingered in the aisle for a few moments, but the arguing and crying wasn't ending, so I went to pay. She was now on the phone and the water works were in full effect. I felt for her, so I stood back trying to give her a few moments to collect herself. The person on the other end of the phone could have cared less that she was at work because she kept saying “I have to go” and that did little to detour the person on the phone from continuing to berate her. Her tears got more intense, but she finally hung up the phone. We completed the transaction and I could tell that she was mustering up every bit of strength to keep it together. Once the transaction was complete I look at her and said “may I give you a hug” and just opened my arms. She hugged me tight and I told her “tomorrow will be better than today.”

I don’t think I would have even noticed (or cared) if I had been on my phone texting friends, playing candy crush (which I do not play, but keep getting invited to) or taking a selfie. I would have missed an opportunity to engage. I would have missed an opportunity to make someone feel better. I would have missed an opportunity to make a difference. Every day each and every one of us has a chance to make an impact, we just have to be present so we don’t miss it. Technology really helps keep people connected – but remember that it can never replace the live connection between people.