The Story of Matthew

Living in Los Angeles is always an experience; it can be very community and at the same time very disconnected. On the same street that you see a brand new Bentley stopped at a light, you also see a homeless man pushing his cart across the street. When you are as empathetic as I am, developing a protective coating—forcing you to ignore the homeless person on the bench and the guy selling oranges off the freeway—is the only way to make it through day-to-day. More often than not, when you are shielded, you forget that everyone has a unique story. This is the story of Matthew.

Disengaged

The great part of consuming alcohol, it tends to thin out that protective coating I create to survive. One night, in the beautiful city of Santa Monica, a few friends and I got together to enjoy festivities at a local restaurant. It had gotten a little hot inside, so a few of us stepped outside for some fresh air. As I stepped outside I saw a tall, handsome man – somewhat disheveled – walking towards us. The closer he got, the more I noticed it seemed that he may have been in the elements for a few days, but only appeared “kind of” homeless. Now anyone who knows me, knows that this is the moment I turn the other direction to avoid any kind of contact, but not that day. That day, the universe had other plans and I felt compelled to say hello; and so I did. The young man seemed excited to engage in conversation and so we chit chatted about this and that for maybe 15 minutes, until my friends were either annoyed or cold and forced me back inside.

The Next Day

The next day I was primed for a delicious breakfast, bloody marys and some great people watching along Ocean Ave. We arrived at the restaurant and to be honest, it was such a terrible experience all I wanted to do was eat and go home. My friend Hayley had a different idea, she was adamant that we grab one drink from the English pub around the corner and then agreed we would head home. So off to the pub we went. We spent a little time, I shared the story of the “kind of” homeless man I met the night before and as I looked up, who do I see sitting at the end of the bar? The “kind of” homeless man from the night before. After some prodding from Hayley, I headed over and said, “What are the chances?” and he responded “Zero.”

Meet Matthew

I invited Matthew over to sit with us. I see he is wearing the same clothes as the night before, so I ask him if he’s eaten to which he responds “no.” So we buy him some food, a few drinks, thinking that we’ll chat for a few minutes and then leave him to enjoy some food and drinks without the restaurant forcing him out. As we wait for the food Matthew begins sharing stories, who is parents are, about a recent breakup, what he has been doing the past few days and some of his misadventures. It is then that I realized Matthew wasn't a drug-abusing homeless guy. He wasn't the homeless guy that doesn't want to work. He wasn't even the homeless guy down on his luck. Matthew is a highly educated guy. Matthew is a guy that comes from a great family. Matthew is a guy who loves deeply. Matthew is a guy that grew up in affluent area of Los Angeles. Matthew is a guy who is special… and Matthew is a guy who suffers from mental illness.

The Universe Has Its Own Plan

As I begin to see Matthew for all the things he really is and understand that he is a guy that needs some help, I immediately go into healthcare provider mode and start asking questions about his medication, why he isn't on them and discussing how and where he can go to get access to treatment. We sit with Matthew another 30 minutes. I excuse myself to the restroom, he goes outside for a smoke. We both arrive back at the table at the same time. I let him know we are heading out and he asks if we can spend just a few more minutes with him, and of course we agree. Matthew has yet to touch the food or drinks we've bought him - which tells me he is more interested in the conversation and human connection. In the next instance the strangest thing happens, he asks if I would like to meet his mother. You can imagine what is going through my head at this point, “this guy is bat sh*t crazy.” So of course I say yes and we proceed outside where I find this petite, brown-haired, blue-eyed beauty. She is refined, she is gorgeous and she is sad. I look her in the eye and say “are you his mother?” To which she replies with a simple up and down nod of her head, while a tear falls down her face.

Whenever, Be Kind

There was no way I could leave this sweet woman without offering up any small act of kindness I could provide. I told her that both Hayley and I were there to help and we would come up with a plan to get Matthew home. Mom was crying, I was crying, and through the tears we came up with a plan. The last step was to get Matthew to agree to the plan -- and that night, Matthew went home.

Kindness is one of those things that is available in ample supply. We just have to remember to access it. When we spend more time living in our own world, disconnected from all that is happening around us, we lose opportunities to enrich ourselves, positively impact our own lives, and make a difference in our community. We are all connected, which is why we must always stay connected. I read a post from Cory Booker once that said, “When happy, be kind. When angry, be kind. When hopeful, be kind. When discouraged, be kind. Whenever, be kind." Today, just be kind.