Finding Success in Failures

In the US we are a culture defined by success. We punish children who get Cs (which is technically average - also a bad word) and we celebrate those that have tremendous wealth - no matter how it was achieved. We tend to set expectations so high that anything less than perfection is a disappointment or a failure. No wonder stress levels in the US are high. 

According to a US News report, Americans rate their stress at almost a 5 out of a 10 point ratings scale. While that is a decline from the 2007 rating of 6.2, it is still higher than recommended.

A few months ago my mother suffered a stroke that doctors attributed to stress. Since then I have heard of more than six cases of stroke or aneurysm among family and friends.  You can find studies all over the place that show a link between stress and strokes. One study showed that chronic stress increased the chances of a stroke by almost four-fold.

So what am I trying to say about stress and expectations? As we set our expectations at 10 on a scale of 1 - 10, we give ourselves very little room to experience success. Perfection should never be the goal. I know, I know, right now you are thinking I'm crazy, but hear me out. Perfection is an attempt to control an outcome that includes far more variables than you can ever control. It is a hard realization, but it's true. We cannot control every aspect of our lives.

Failures aren't negative. Failures are opportunities - ways we get a chance to learn and improve. This is definitely easier said than done. Avoiding failure is ingrained in our culture, but what most successful people will tell you is that they have failed more times than they have succeeded. The difference, they are not negatively impacted by failure. 

Robert F. Kennedy said it best, "Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”

What we can do is continue to push through and make our best efforts and focus on the process we are taking to get there-- living each moment and enjoying both the successes and the failures along the way.

This week celebrate all your successes, work to embrace all your failures, BUT most importantly remember to enjoy both!