RESPECT – Find Out What It Means To Me

Courtesy of billcorbett.blogspot.com

I have had a challenging past few days, to say the least, and the challenge has translated to feeling a lack of general respect. I was in the shower and thinking to myself that as our culture has become less courteous it seems like there has been a loss of general respect—respect for differences, respect for property, and respect for individuals. 

What is respect?

Miriam Webster online defines respect as:

re·spect noun \ri-ˈspekt\

: a feeling of admiring someone or something that is good, valuable, important, etc.

: a feeling or understanding that someone or something is important, serious, etc., and should be treated in an appropriate way. The second part of the second definition is what I think is missing today – “should be treated in an appropriate way.” Since Sunday I have experienced, in one way or another, a total disregard for being treated in an appropriate way.

Open the Door B*tches

I woke up Sunday morning, it was about 73 degrees in Southern California. I decided to go paddle boarding. It was amazing! The sky was blue, the bay was filled with people basking in the gorgeous sun. It was perfect. I was inspired, so I invited a few friends over to grill up some food. We were all laughing, discussing how great the weather was for March and the next thing we hear is “Open the door b*tches!” Surprised at the thought someone would be yelling something like that in a neighbor with young children was a little unsettling. I looked outside to find four young women yelling to the neighbors upstairs. So I said, “There is an intercom” to which they responded, “we know.” These young women didn't even seem cognizant that other people lived in the building, let alone the fact that young children live there. Look, curse words leaves my mouth more regularly than I know is appropriate, but I respect the fact that not all people feel the same. I don’t see it as an infringement on my freedom of speech, I see it as me respecting my neighbor’s point of view. I see it as being respectful.

What is Lost Can Be Found

Though I am discouraged by the disrespect I've seen and experienced in recent years, I am not swayed! I know that within each of us there is kindness and goodness. I know that within each of us there is an unwavering desire to care. Why do I believe this so strongly? Because I see it every day. I see it in the young men who hold the door open so a lady can walk through. I see it when a group of women get up from their seats in the waiting area so an elderly couple can sit down. I see it when a team of people stop their cars, get out and work together to corral the dog running aimlessly through the streets.

While respect, kindness and courtesy may be hidden at times, it lives deep in the heart of each and every one of us. We just have to remember it. We just have to remember how good it feels to do good things. What does respect mean to me? It means I treat you the way I hope to be treated – with just a little bit of courtesy and RESPECT.

Is Technology Killing Kindness?

Courtesy of yogaheels.wordpress.com

In the 90’s I remember how cool it was when I could write “BOOB” with my pager. At the time I could never have imagined how mobile technology would evolve. The fact that most of us carry around a device that can send and receive complex information at the click of button, would make it seem we would be more in touch, more connected with one another.

But I think the opposite might be true. As an observer of people, I notice people on their phones while in line at the grocery store – failing to ever look up at the cashier, or in restaurants sitting across from one another immersed in whatever information is popping up on their phones and disconnected from the person physically in front of them.

A few years ago, I walked into an Ace Hardware to get some hardware for a mirror I needed to hang. I was new to the area. I had been looking for ACE Hardware for over an hour. It was August, apparently one of the hottest on recorded for the Valley. I had been moving all day, I was exhausted. I was angry because I had to pay for parking (something I’m still getting use to) and I was planning to just run in and out – I needed to get back to the A/C as quickly as possible. But as I've mentioned before, the universe always has its own plan and we do much better when we lean in and accept it.

The store is pretty small, but having never been in an ACE Hardware I was struggling to find what I was looking for. I found an employee, who was red-nosed and puffy-faced; I could clearly see she had been crying and wasn't having a great day. I smiled empathetically and asked her where I could find mirror hardware and she directed me to the aisle.  While in the aisle I could hear her on the phone arguing with someone. I lingered in the aisle for a few moments, but the arguing and crying wasn't ending, so I went to pay. She was now on the phone and the water works were in full effect. I felt for her, so I stood back trying to give her a few moments to collect herself. The person on the other end of the phone could have cared less that she was at work because she kept saying “I have to go” and that did little to detour the person on the phone from continuing to berate her. Her tears got more intense, but she finally hung up the phone. We completed the transaction and I could tell that she was mustering up every bit of strength to keep it together. Once the transaction was complete I look at her and said “may I give you a hug” and just opened my arms. She hugged me tight and I told her “tomorrow will be better than today.”

I don’t think I would have even noticed (or cared) if I had been on my phone texting friends, playing candy crush (which I do not play, but keep getting invited to) or taking a selfie. I would have missed an opportunity to engage. I would have missed an opportunity to make someone feel better. I would have missed an opportunity to make a difference. Every day each and every one of us has a chance to make an impact, we just have to be present so we don’t miss it. Technology really helps keep people connected – but remember that it can never replace the live connection between people.